


Destiel Investigations!

by orphan_account



Series: My NHI!verse fics [3]
Category: Fandom Fandom - Fandom, Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Disguise, Gen, Illuminati, Investigating, NHI, no homo intern - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-28
Packaged: 2018-04-06 14:42:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4225785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Agent Weston decides that she and Agent Jones need to investigate the SPN HQ. Gilbert doesn't want to go because last time he ended up snogging the NHI for reasons (idk I didn't write that comic) <br/>Originally posted on m blog stoprighttheremywaywardson</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Agents Weston and Jones go investigating  
Gilbert was enjoying a lie in one morning, when he was rudely interrupted by some persistent knocking at his flat’s front door.  
“Go away!” he shouted grumpily. The knocking continued.  
“Fine…” he sighed. He hauled himself out of bed, threw on his dressing gown, shuffled over to the door and opened it. To his surprise, Sarah Weston, the MI5 agent he had met in the park, was standing in the doorway. He could hardly recognise her now though, as instead of her scruffy hoodie from before, she was wearing a smart black suit and skirt, and her hair was no longer quite so erratic. She was still clutching a bag of donuts for some reason. Her smart clothes made Gilbert feel rather self-conscious in his scruffy old rainbow striped dressing gown.  
“Good morning!” she brightly greeted him. Gilbert inwardly groaned. He hated morning people and by the smile on her face, she clearly must be one. “Are you ready to begin your training?”  
“No,” Gilbert replied, preparing to shut the door. “It’s like 8 am I’m not even ready to begin consciousness.”  
“Well too bad,” she said as she smartly put her foot in the way of the closing door. “I have no idea how long I’ll be in the area for so we’ve got to make the most of what time we have.” She moved past Gilbert and into his flat.  
Reluctantly, Gilbert let her, and closed the door behind her. She was right. “Yes, you’re right Sarah,” he admitted.  
“Course I am, I’m always right!” she cheerfully replied while taking a seat at his table. “And it’s Agent Weston today, since we’re going to be using the badges.”  
“Why are we -“Gilbert began, but was cut off.  
“Just get dressed and then I can explain on the way. How long will it take you to get your suit on?”  
“Um… 15 minutes?”  
“Well you had better hurry up because we’re leaving in 5.”  
************************************  
“So where are we going?” asked Gilbert as he gripped his car seat. The way Agent Preston drove her Mini (red with the Union Flag on top of course) was… ‘erratic’, if you were being kind. ‘Terrifying’ if you were being honest.  
“To the Supernatural writer’s headquarters,” replied Agent Weston as she casually swerved to avoid some kids who were crossing the road.  
Gilbert made a strangled noise. He couldn’t go back there! Not after what a disaster last time had been…  
“You alright, Agent Jones?” she asked with something that may have been concern in her voice. It was hard to tell, because there was also a lot of amusement. “You look a bit sickly…”  
Gilbert just swallowed. God, how could he ever show his face there again? What if he saw Jeremy? Or the NHI? Or worse… both? From what he had gathered, those two were pretty close, so it was almost certain NHI would have told Jeremy about the kiss, or someone else would have. He had been planning to conduct his investigation from afar and only confront the NHI when he had proof of his identity and a means of stopping him, but now that plan was crashing around his ears.  
Thankfully, Agent Weston didn’t seem to notice his internal turmoil and instead took his fear of going to the writers HQ as fear of her awful driving. “Don’t worry Agent Jones; we’ve got seatbelts and everything, so we’ll be fine.”  
Hearing her attitude did not improve Gilbert’s mental state.  
“Anyway,” she continued, confident that she had allayed her trainee’s fears. “When we get there, we need to have a look around and meet as many of the staff as possible. We need to work out who ships what, who has the authority to change the canon, and who we can convince to help us.”  
“I’ve already done an investigation like this,” protested Gilbert. “Do we really need to do another?”  
“Yes, because you haven’t done it with me,” Agent Weston firmly said, while overtaking a lorry so close Gilbert was sure he could hear the paint scratching off. “But that’s good that you’ve made a start.”  
**********************************  
When they arrived, Agent Weston got out the car, started walking towards the building, then stopped and turned around. “I just thought of something,” she said. “How good is your English accent?”  
“Pretty good if you ask me,” replied Gilbert in a terrible English accent.  
Agent Weston made a face. “I guess I’ll have to do my American accent then,” she said, in a way that sounded more Australian than anything else. “Or maybe not,” she realised. “Just leave most of the talking to me. Is it likely they will know you here from your previous investigation?”  
Gilbert thought back to the scene he had caused last time. “Yeah…” he admitted. “Almost certainly.”  
“Great! That gives me a good excuse to be with a member of the NSA!”  
“It does?”  
“Of course.”  
Without explaining any further, Agent Weston turned starting striding towards the entrance, leaving Gilbert to hurry after her.  
****************************  
“Agent Weston, MI5, official business.” Agent Weston showed her badge to Jim the security guard.  
“Agent Jones, NS-“  
“Hey! Gilbert, right?” Jim interrupted. “Haven’t seen ya around in a while, lover boy!”  
“Uhh yes well you see…” stammered Gilbert.  
“Well if ya with him I’ve gotta let ya in, don’t I?” laughed Jim to a confused Agent Weston. “D’ya need someone to show ya round?”  
“Yes, a guide would be most helpful, thank you,” replied Agent Weston, trying to look professional while at the same time giving confused looks to a squirming Gilbert.  
“Sure thing Agent, I’ll go get one of the interns for ya.”  
As Jim walked down the corridor, leaving them alone, Agent Weston crossed her arms. “That was nice of him,” she said. “But I didn’t even get to use my awesome cover story about searching for the illuminati…”  
She sounded so despondent that Gilbert momentarily postponed his plans of getting the hell out of there and instead felt compelled to cheer her up. Despite all her big talk, he remembered, she hadn’t actually had any experience in the field yet, and had probably been looking forwards to it.  
“Don’t worry, I’m sure someone will ask you what you’re doing here,” he said kindly.  
“Of course they will, I knew that,” she snapped, but Gilbert knew she had perked up a lot. “Isn’t it exciting to be at the actual Supernatural writers HQ? I mean… obviously I’ve been to loads of writer’s HQ’s…” She coughed. “But these are the most interesting! I wonder who we’ll see…”  
As she slipped out patronizing agent mode and into excitable fangirl mode, Gilbert started silently walking towards the door. If he could just get out of there without her noticing, he could run across the road to the bus stop and catch the first bus to ‘place-that-isn’t-here-ville’. From there he could –  
“Hey, where are you going?”  
Gilbert froze.  
“Look, Jim’s coming back now, and he’s got someone to show us around!”  
Slowly, Gilbert turned around. Sure enough, Jim was lumbering along the corridor and behind him…  
“Oh no…” Gilbert breathed. He had to get out of there, but it was too late. Agent Weston had grabbed his arm and pulled him round to meet their guide.  
“Here ya go, one intern guide!” proudly announced Jim. “He’ll be with ya all day, showing ya round and introducing folks.”  
“I’m Agent Weston, MI5, this is Agent Jones, NSA,” Agent Weston said professionally. Suddenly she flipped back into fangirl mode. “Hey, nice hat!”  
“Thanks.” The intern adjusted his adventure-time-Finn-style-hat, tucking one of his blonde curls back under it. He caught Gilbert’s eye and winked. “They call me the NHI.”


	2. Chapter 2 (wow look how inventive with chapter names I am)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow you can summarize chapters I didn't know that! Basically they do more investigations and NHI stuff (what did you expect it has 'investigations' in the name)

Jeremy could feel Gilbert glaring at him, but he turned his gaze to Agent Weston, watching her reactions. What was an MI5 agent doing working with an NSA agent? Was it official business, or was she helping Gilbert, hunting him down?  
“Nice to meet you,” Agent Weston said. She seemed unaware of the growing tension in the room. “I would like you to take us to each of the main writers in turn, so I can interview them.”  
“Um… all of them or just the ones who aren’t busy?” he asked nervously. If she needed to interview him as Jeremy it could lead Gilbert to be suspicious if the NHI was nowhere to be seen yet again. He didn’t even look at Gilbert; he had been too bold before. Better to act rude than let on that their kiss had meant something.  
“All of them,” confirmed Agent Weston. “Is there a room we could use?”  
“There’s… the store cupboard?” Jeremy suggested. He was certain he saw Gilbert flinch out of the corner of his eye, but he wasn’t surprised. That had been where they had been last time. Hating himself for it, he added, “It’s never used for anything good.” It was cruel, but the sooner Gilbert lost interest in the NHI the better it would be for them both. As long as he never found out about his secret identity, Jeremy was sure he could sort something out with Gilbert one day…  
“It sounds perfect, thank you.”  
***  
Upon reaching the store cupboard, Agent Weston quickly set up a table with some chairs, wrote a list of the writers she wanted to interview in the order she wanted it, and asked him to go and fetch them, all the while chattering (rather unprofessionally he felt) to both him and Gilbert. Gilbert, Jeremy noticed, hadn’t said a word the entire time, and the most communication he did was throwing angry glances at his ‘arch nemesis’ when he thought Agent Weston wasn’t looking. Jeremy only found out that she did notice when, while returning with Robert Singer as asked, he overheard her telling him off.  
“You won’t make any progress if you’re unfriendly like that!”  
“You don’t understand…”  
“I understand more than you! Do you know how useful he could be? But he won’t be if you’re rude when you’ve only just met!”  
Jeremy chose that moment to open the door loudly, cutting off Gilbert’s reply. For some reason, he felt he didn’t want Agent Weston knowing about Gilbert’s past experiences with the NHI.  
Agent Weston turned towards the door, smiling. “Thank you NHI, I’ll let you know when I need the next interviewee.”  
Jeremy was already leaving. He needed time to think about what he had heard.  
****  
It wasn’t until the afternoon that Agent Weston asked for Jeremy Carver. Thankfully, she added that he would be the last interviewee so the NHI could go after sending Jeremy her way, so he had an excuse not to be there as his moustachioed self. After dashing to his office and changing out of his costume, he returned to the store cupboard and opened the door.  
As soon as he did, Gilbert’s face lit up. “Jeremy!” he breathed. Agent Weston looked at him in confusion and then back to Jeremy. She frowned, but didn’t say anything. Jeremy wondered what Gilbert had told her about them.  
“Hey there Gilbert, how can I help?” said Jeremy as he sat down on the opposite side of the table to them.  
“Do you two know each other?” asked Agent Weston.  
“Yeah, we’ve met a few times,” admitted Gilbert, not taking his eyes of Jeremy.  
Jeremy, suddenly feeling bold, winked and added, “More than a few times I would say!”  
“That’s great! I guess you can take this one then, Agent Jones,” Agent Weston said happily, apparently not noticing the blatant flirting. She adjusted her glasses, then crossed her arms and looked expectantly at Gilbert.  
Gilbert fiddled with his pen for a moment, before flicking through his black notebook and composing himself.  
“Ok, he began. “Please state your name and job.”  
“You know me, Gilbert!” protested Jeremy. “This is silly!”  
“A federal investigation is not silly!” snapped Agent Weston unexpectedly. “And you will call him Agent Jones during this investigation.”  
“What are you even investigating?” asked Jeremy.  
“The illuminati,” Gilbert told him gravely. Jeremy felt a flicker of relief; it was nothing to do with him after all.  
“They’re real?”  
“We have had many reports of the illuminati apparently being responsible for ‘destiel’,” Gilbert said. “We must investigate all claims, no matter how ridiculous.”  
Jeremy laughed. “Well don’t worry, I’m not the illuminati.”  
“We’ll be the judge of that,” Agent Weston said ominously. “Agent Jones, begin your questioning.”  
Jeremy decided that the sooner this was over, the better. Maybe he could ask Gilbert to go grab a drink with him afterwards or something. With this thought in mind, he answered all the questions as quickly as he could without asking any of his own (even if he thought there were a few too many about destiel and his OTP’s than he would have thought were necessary)  
He answered most honestly, although he may have downplayed his interest in destiel, simply because he had no wish to be arrested for being part of the illuminati. But one question Agent Weston added at the end threw him.  
“What do you know about that NHI guy?”  
Jeremy froze. Was she on to him?  
“Why do you ask?” he replied with his best attempt at being casual.  
“It’s not related to the investigation,” Agent Weston confessed. “But something about you reminds me of him… like the way you move your hands or when you winked at Gilbert….”  
Jeremy felt himself going red; he thought she hadn’t noticed. “Yeah well… about that…”  
Suddenly, Agent Weston’s eye’s widened. “Hang on a second!” she gasped. “I’ve just thought of something!”  
OHGODDAMMITSHE’SONTOMEGODDAMMITDARNDARNDARNBLASTIMSOSCREWED thought Jeremy.  
“You and the NHI guy….”  
PLEASE DON’T SAY IT PLEASE DON’T SAY IT prayed Jeremy in his head.  
“Are actually…”  
There was nothing Jeremy could do but hope Gilbert would understand.  
“Best friends!”  
“LOOK I CAN EXPLAIN!” yelled Jeremy, standing up. Then what Agent Weston said sank in. “Wait what?”  
“It all makes sense now!” Agent Weston announced triumphantly. “You act alike because you spend so much time together, and that’s why Gilbert was rude to the NHI, because he’s jealous that he’s not your BFF! I was wondering why he was being so grumpy.”  
Jeremy and Gilbert both stared. Neither corrected her.  
“Anyway, now that it’s all sorted, Agent Jones and I will be on our way,” Agent Weston said briskly, snapping back into agent mode. “We still need to debrief.”  
She gathered up her notes and headed out the door, leaving Jeremy and Gilbert alone.  
“Is it true?” asked Gilbert simply. “Is that NHI really your best friend now?”  
“I wouldn’t say ‘best friend’…” Jeremy protested weakly. He had no idea how to cover this.  
“I thought we had something special.” Gilbert sounded hurt. “But I guess you’re like this with all the guys.” He started walking towards the door.  
“No wait!”  
Gilbert ignored his shout.  
“Do you want to go out for a drink some time?”  
Gilbert stopped. “I’ll think about it,” he said coolly, then left the room. When the door had swung shut, Jeremy grinned to himself. He (nearly) had a date!


End file.
